Melbourne day one

Huuhh yay first day almost over. I am soo tired and am pretty homesick already. I just miss my bed and all my belongings back home, and today reminded me of how much I hate flying and the first day of travel. Flying, ugh just hate it, I have so much anxiety with it and feel sick the whole time and its just not fun, how can people enjoy being crammed into small seats for hours on end and the plane food ewww. Scrambled eggs are not meant to be shaped and moulded into a ball!! Gross and dry potatoes and cooked onion, that was my breakfast... Yuck. I watched the book theif on the plane on the way over and that took up two hours and it was really good too, one good thing, free movies! We then got driven by a man with a strech car (small limo) to our hotel which is waayyy too fancy for me!! It has (will try to explain post pics when I get home) this massive entrance with marble pillars and floor everywhere and all this silver, I'm scared I will damage it by walking on it!! And it also has this huge swimming pool indoors on the nineth floor, my brothers and mum went in it in the afternoon, I didn't I stayed back and hoped in the huge spa bath and watched tv that they had over the bath!! Omg its amazing!! I feel like I don't belong here, I really want to be at home and going to school right now... But I suppose it will just get a bit of getting use to... And it's only for 4 more days it can't be that bad, can it??

Later we walked to the shopping centre and had a look around and then walked back, I really didn't enjoy it. I didn't know that it was soo far away s I wore my boots and now I have blisters and blood all through my socks and boots and my feet ache! And then it all got too much for me when we got back so I just went into my room and cried and cried. I want to be at home. I think my mum knew I had been crying but she didn't say anything. I kinda didn't have lunch because I was soo tired and depressed I just couldn't manage it. I feel really guilty now though!...  And then we had tea and I had the only gluten free thing on the kids menu (I wasn't ordering a adult size!) a piece of pan fried fish and rice... The fish was really nice, not drenched in butter so yay! The rice, well it was rice... 

Later when finally saw my Dad yay yay!! And then we went down to the bar and ordered desert, I got pav and that's just say Australia, you don't know what pav is!! It's a kiwi fluffy whipped meringue cake, not a piece of hard meringue with a lump of cream on it, oh well. I shouldn't of got my hopes up for a piece of kiwi pav. We then stayed for a while and some of my dads colleagues came down for drinks and we talked for a while and next we came back up to the room and got into bed, aka now :) haha I am writing this when I am meant to be sleeping, but there is no other time I will get privacy to write a post and my family don't know about my blog and I would like to keep it that way as I don't want them reading all my depressed thoughts and about the times when I self harme, they don't need to worry about that, I can cope on my own. I hope :) nah I am :) and if they read like today that I didn't have lunch (which you should NEVER do!!) I would end up in the eating disorders unit in about two minutes, and I am not going back there. But sometimes things do get too tough and you end up skipping a meal, but as long as you eat extra later you can still get your bodies needs into you for that day but you shouldn't go four hours without eating! That's something you should aim for :) 

Anyways I think my brother is asleep next to me so I probably should be asleep too :)
Hope everything is well, good night xoxo :)