What is wrong with me!

I feel like I can't eat anything we got this amazing dinner and I only ate a tiny bit usually I eat tonnes of it because it tastes sooo good but it's like I always start with a little then go back for more so if I feel I really can't eat like today it still looks like I finished a whole plate. To be honest I think I ate about a slightly heaped side plate size which is about a starter size, tiny, and I couldn't finish my breakfast and now that I think of it I didn't eat lunch... Or snacks...It's like I want to eat but as soon as I put it in my mouth it's like no! My body doesn't want it and it is a struggle to swallow it and then I get a wave of nausea over me and it feels like my body can't physically eat it even if I want to! I even got myself of ice cream and I love icecream but the same thing happened. What is wrong with me!! I feel like bursting into tears! I know that I should drink a fortisip as I haven't had any today (meant to have three but normally only have them when I can't eat) but I can't stand even looking at them at the moment, I have chills thinking about them now damn the taste terrible !! So now I feel sick and have a headache and am very tired all probably from not eating enough...oh and now I feel anxious about school tomorrow as I kinda eat less at school anyway so I am scared that tommorrow I won't eat at all! It has happened many a time before I won't think about it at the time but when I look back at what I have eaten I will be shocked, like today. I have a bad feeling about tomorrow because if I still feel even at little like this I know already that I will have my fortisip in the morning nothing at school at all, nothing after school then go to ballet come back (the rest of my family eat while I am out so no one watches me eat) and depending how I feel might just put it down the drain or eat it I don't know. Uhh why me, its eating me alive the guilt!!:( Anyway I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, I might feel completely different never know just have to stay positive!! :)

It's funny how yesterday I loved my body, don't get me wrong I still do today :) but yesterday I felt very happy and positive and today is just the opposite.. Oh well we all have bad days, and I lost a kg... **** me! I want to put on weight!! I really do!!! Anyway stay positive, I need to remember that right now. Xoxo :)

I am really upset with myself for not eating, just feel like curling up and crying, regretting it so much now, so keep eating all you guys out there if I can't do it today you can do it for me please :) haha I believe in you guys, I have my bad days (today) but it gets better okay :)

Love ya good night xoxo